[Highland Park] Re: virtual Friendliness (From a Highland Resident)
I wanted to write in response to this and let my neighbors know that I think you are all fantastic - more so in person than online. I grew up in a small town in the country, where everybody knew everybody and things were (and still are) much simpler and down to earth than in the city. I can make comparisons between several places, because I lived downtown and in Shadyside for 5 years while attending college. I was apprehensive about moving to the city when I graduated high school, and my general impressions of it while in college were of a cold, unfeeling place. I moved to Highland Park two and a half years ago, and one of the first things I attended was the Bryant Street fair. It was there that I signed up for this list, and met many friendly people. But, it didn't stop there. I have had great experiences with the people in this community, much nicer than anywhere else I've lived in the city. I wrote a letter to the Pittsburgh Post Gazette in February, which was published, about the kindness of several regulars of Tazza D'oro, who dug and pushed cars out of several inches of ice and snow during the bad storms. Speaking of Tazza D'oro, if you want to see friendliness and kind hearts, sit there for 20 minutes on any given day and watch people come and go. The regulars are great friends, and even those who don't know people well will often find themselves in a conversation with some customers or employees before they walk out the door. There aren't many coffee shops that I know of that have a employee/customer football game, or support local artists and speakers. I've also interacted with people in the park on many occasions, chatting about whatever gets brought up. I've gone on nature walks through the park and had talks with other neighbors there, who have filled me in on where the Farmhouse is and what events this community supports, and what the people are about. At Christmas time several neighbors bought a Christmas tree for someone who didn't have one, and the Union Project is being developed to promote community interaction, not to mention employing local people and keeping business local. You are a wonderful community, and I honestly brag about living here. I tell my friends and family, and anybody who asks where I live, what amazing neighbors I have. I felt welcome here from the first day I moved in, and your actions and words continue to give me positive experiences over and over again. I do agree that we are becoming a society that is withdrawn from personal human interactions because of internet and cell phones and technology in general. I understand that cell phones cause many problems, which is why I refused to buy one until my grandma became sick. I get very annoyed when someone is on their phone in a public place, but that sight is one that I, at least, have seen much less of in this community. Maybe I'm just lucky enough to find the places where all of the considerate people hang out? And finally, while I have my soap box for a few more seconds of your time, I have good friends who have come to Pittsburgh from all over the world to study (as I'm sure many of us have). One thing they have all expressed to me is how kind and friendly Pittsburghers are! Some have traveled to and lived in many cities around the US and find that this is the nicest place that they've been to! So, don't stop what you're doing, Highland Park, because you are outstanding in my eyes! Sincerely, Jessica Hi Neighbors... Highland Park is a wonderful neighborhood. My wife and I have enjoyed living here since choosing it last October. But I've noticed something I'd like to share with you. Many times I've read extravagant praise on this site for Highland Park's great online response to requests, and it appears to be a very friendly neighborhood. But, unfortunately what I've found, and what mirrors our wider society, is that residents are virtually friendly behind the safety of their computer firewalls. What I find in reality when walking down the street is that people rarely make eye contact. Even my "good morning" is met with surprise, and sometimes a shy or even suspicious look. We are so worried, so afraid of people these days that we are in danger of losing our human contact except for those very few in our most intimate circle. This fear, as is all psychological fear, is completely unnecessary, because it is nothing but thought in the form of memory. We have an early warning detection system hardwired in our brain that will warn us of danger. This natural warning, however, is disconnected by excess fear and worry but can be reactivated by the reduction of fearful thoughts and by active use. (I've published a book about it.) If you'd like a free handout of a simple method for doing this and eliminating damaging stress, respond, and I'll send an attachment. I do not doubt the genuine friendliness expressed online, but it may not be translating into acknowledging other human beings on the streets, and stores and cafes, where we really need it most. And, yes I know there are community groups that are doing wonderful things, but it seems that we as indivduals are being lock in to a virtual world by our fears. eblessings, Stephen
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JESSICA SUTARA